The first lady is a trendsetter right down to her name.

Melania Trump and the word ” elegant ” don’t belong in the same sentence. FLOTUS is like Farmers ‘ Insurance. ” She knows a man or two because she has seen a man or two “.

Born Melanija Knaves , FLOTUS began her impoverished beginnings in a modest two bedroom 635 sq. ft. Slovenia flat raised by devout Socialist parents, whose Socialist Party membership paid for the parents’ squalid living quarters and low paying jobs. Melanjia Knaves still has a brother
( DJT’s favorite brother-in-law,), who is a high ranking Socialist Party member.

After flunking out of college during her first semester, Melanjia Knaves became a third tier undistinguished model who survived by living with various sugar daddies with whom she exchanged bodily fluids before for decades living with an octogenarian Italian Socialist photographer. She subsequently moved to NYC where she trolled a NYC meat market known for old rich men paying for sex with women. The bar was called the Kitty Kat Club where Melania set her sights on twice married and currently cheating on his second wife DJT.

Because she could only screw DJT, when he was not occupied by his wife and children as well as by his primary mistress, Melanjia Knaves continued using her language skills [ moaning , primal screaming and saying ” cash only ” in four languages ] while also crawling in and out of her Italian Socialist lover’s bed, trolling other NYC night clubs until she finally hooked her biggest fish…..her orange roughy by the name of DJT.

Melania’s expertise is limited to knowing what Marla Maples, Karen McDougal and Stormy Daniels taste like.